What to Write in a Wedding Card: A Practical Guide

When wondering what to write in a wedding card, the most meaningful approach is to offer sincere, personal sentiments that celebrate the couple’s love and commitment. As a practical wedding planner often advises couples and guests alike, a well-written message should reflect warmth, authenticity, and respect for the occasion. Whether you’re a close family member or an acquaintance, your words can leave a lasting impression—so choosing the right tone and content matters. The key is to balance emotion with brevity, ensuring your message feels genuine without overshadowing the ceremony itself.

Understanding the Purpose of a Wedding Card

A wedding card is more than just a formality—it’s a keepsake. Many couples save these cards for years, often reading them again on anniversaries or during sentimental moments. That’s why a practical wedding planner always emphasizes the importance of thoughtful wording. Unlike generic greetings, a personalized note adds emotional value and becomes part of the couple’s cherished memories.

The primary purposes of a wedding card include:

Expressing congratulations and joy for the newlyweds
Sharing well-wishes for their future together
Offering words of wisdom, humor, or inspiration (when appropriate)
Reinforcing your relationship with the couple

Because the card may be read aloud at the reception or saved in a memory box, it's best to avoid inside jokes that only a few would understand or anything overly casual like text-speak (“LOL” or “OMG”).

Wedding Card Etiquette: What to Include and What to Avoid

Just as there are rules for attire and RSVPs, there are unspoken but important guidelines when deciding how to write a wedding card message. Following proper etiquette ensures your message is respectful and fitting for the event.

What to Include

Your Name(s): Always sign your full name, especially if you're not extremely close to the couple. If attending with a guest, list both names (e.g., “John Smith & Sarah Lee”).
A Greeting: Start with “Dear [Names]” or “Congratulations, [Names]!” Keep it warm but formal unless you have a very casual relationship.
A Personal Touch: Mention a shared memory, compliment their relationship, or reference how happy they make each other.
Well-Wishes: Offer hopes for love, joy, strength through challenges, and a lifetime of happiness.
Closing: Use phrases like “With love,” “Warmly,” or “Cheers to your new beginning,” followed by your signature.

Common Mistakes to Avoid

Being too brief: “Congrats!” with no further message comes across as lazy or indifferent.
Over-sharing: Don’t recount dramatic stories or bring up sensitive topics like past relationships.
Focusing on gifts: Never write, “Hope you like the toaster!” Instead, mention the gift separately on a gift receipt.
Using slang or emojis: Even if you’re young and informal, maintain a level of decorum suitable for the occasion.
Forgetting to sign: An unsigned card loses its personal connection.

Different Types of Relationships Call for Different Messages

Your relationship with the couple will naturally influence the tone and depth of your message. A practical wedding planner knows that tailoring your note based on closeness enhances its impact.

For Close Family Members

If you’re a parent, sibling, or grandparent, this is your chance to express deep emotion. Share pride, nostalgia, and hopes for their journey ahead.

Example:
“Watching you grow into the person you are today has been one of my greatest joys. Seeing you find such a loving partner fills my heart with peace. May your marriage be filled with laughter, patience, and endless support. We love you both so much.”

For Best Friends or Siblings

You can afford to be slightly more playful while still remaining heartfelt. Reference shared experiences or inside jokes—just keep them tasteful.

Example:
“I still remember our late-night talks about love and life. To see you standing here today, so happy and sure of your choice, means everything. You two are magic together. Here’s to decades of adventures, dance parties, and growing old laughing at the same dumb things.”

For Coworkers or Acquaintances

Keep it polite, positive, and concise. Focus on general well-wishes rather than personal anecdotes.

Example:
“Wishing you both a lifetime of happiness and partnership. It was a joy to celebrate your special day. Congratulations on your marriage!”

For the Couple You Just Met

Sometimes you attend a wedding as a guest of the bride or groom. In this case, simplicity works best.

Example:
“It was lovely meeting you both. Wishing you a beautiful life together filled with love and joy. Congratulations!”

How Long Should a Wedding Card Message Be?

There’s no strict rule, but a practical wedding planner recommends keeping your message between 3 and 7 sentences. This allows enough space to convey sincerity without turning it into a novel. Remember, many couples receive dozens—or even hundreds—of cards. They’ll appreciate clarity and readability.

If handwriting, use neat penmanship and avoid overcrowding the lines. Choose a pen with dark ink (blue or black) for legibility. If you’re concerned about spelling or grammar, draft your message first on scrap paper.

Should You Handwrite or Print the Message?

Handwriting is strongly preferred. It adds a human touch that printed text cannot replicate. However, if you have poor handwriting or a disability that makes writing difficult, a typed message on a separate insert is acceptable—as long as it’s elegant and placed neatly inside the card.

Tips for handwriting:

Use cursive or clear print
Leave margins to avoid crowding
Double-check names for correct spelling
Let the ink dry before closing the card to prevent smudging

Cultural and Religious Considerations

In multicultural weddings, guests may wonder whether religious language is appropriate. The safest approach is to mirror the tone of the invitation or the couple’s known beliefs.

For example:

In a secular ceremony, avoid phrases like “blessed union” unless you know the couple uses such terms.
In a religious setting (Christian, Jewish, Muslim, etc.), referencing faith may be welcome—but only if you share that context. When in doubt, stick to universal themes: love, commitment, joy, and partnership.

A practical wedding planner often reminds clients that inclusivity starts with language. Phrases like “may your lives be full of light and kindness” work across belief systems.

Adding Humor: When Is It Appropriate?

Humor can be wonderful—if used wisely. Jokes about marriage being “slavery” or “the end of freedom” are outdated and potentially offensive. Instead, opt for lighthearted, affirming humor.

Good example:
“Marriage tip #1: Always agree on the thermostat. Just kidding—you’ve already mastered compromise. So proud to see you two building a life together!”

Poor example:
“Good luck surviving married life! Hope she lets you keep your man cave!”

The difference? One uplifts; the other reinforces stereotypes. A practical wedding planner always encourages positivity over punchlines.

What If You’re Writing to a Same-Sex Couple?

Treat the message with the same warmth and respect as any other. Use inclusive language and focus on their love story. Avoid awkward phrasing like “husband and… husband?” or making assumptions about roles.

Example:
“To the two most radiant people in the room—your love is powerful, authentic, and inspiring. Wishing you a lifetime of dancing in the kitchen, traveling to new places, and growing deeper in love every single day.”

Can You Include a Quote or Poem?

Yes—but choose carefully. A short, timeless quote from literature, film, or poetry can enhance your message. Just ensure it aligns with the couple’s values and isn’t cliché.

Suitable options:

“Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.” – Aristotle
“You’re my best friend, my human, my everything.” – Unknown
“Grow old along with me! The best is yet to be.” – Robert Browning

If including a poem, limit it to four lines. Better yet, write one yourself if you’re poetic!

Special Situations: Divorce, Remarriage, or Late-Life Weddings

When writing to someone who has been divorced or is marrying later in life, acknowledge their journey with sensitivity.

For remarriage:
“So happy to see your heart open again to love and partnership. May this chapter bring even greater joy, wisdom, and companionship.”

For elderly couples:
“What a beautiful reminder that love knows no timeline. Your story inspires us all to believe in second chances and enduring connection.”

Sample Messages by Tone

Tone	Message Example
Heartfelt	"Your love story gives me hope for what true partnership can be. Wishing you patience, laughter, and unwavering support in all the years ahead."
Simple & Sweet	"Wishing you both a lifetime of happiness. Congratulations on your special day!"
Humorous (tasteful)	"Marriage advice: always let them think it was their idea. Seriously though—you two are perfect together."
Formal	"Please accept our warmest congratulations on your marriage. May your union be blessed with health, harmony, and lasting affection."
Inspirational	"A great marriage isn’t about finding the perfect person, but learning to love imperfectly—and perfectly anyway. You’ve found something rare."

Final Tips from a Practical Wedding Planner

Before sealing your envelope, consider these final checks:

Did you spell both names correctly?
Is the tone consistent with your relationship?
Have you avoided mentioning gifts or money?
Is the handwriting legible (or the print professional)?
Does the message feel authentic to you?

Remember, what to write in a wedding card ultimately depends on your intention. Aim to contribute to the couple’s joy, not just fulfill an obligation. A few sincere sentences can mean far more than a lengthy, impersonal paragraph.

Frequently Asked Questions

What if I don’t know what to say?

Start with: “I’m so happy for you.” Then add why—their kindness, obvious love, or the joy they bring each other. Authenticity trumps eloquence.

Can I write a wedding card message in advance?

Yes, and many planners recommend doing so to avoid last-minute stress. Just be sure to personalize it after the ceremony if you witness touching moments.

Should both partners sign the card?

If attending together, yes. List both names unless one is not invited. Even children should be mentioned if they attended (“The Johnson Family” or “Emma & James”).

Is it okay to cry while writing the card?

Totally normal! If tears smudge the ink, rewrite it calmly later. Emotion shows how much the couple means to you.

Can I mail the card instead of bringing it to the wedding?

Yes, but deliver it within two weeks post-wedding. Bring it with you if possible—it’s part of the celebration atmosphere.